Pride and Prejudice: Part Two of Why I Oppose Assisted Suicide Legislation

by Ingrid Tischler, Tales From The Crip, 5 December 2015

Ms Tischler is a wickedly funny satirist living in California and writing about seriously un-funny things. Her re-writing of a key scene from Pride and Prejudice is sub-titled It is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman in possession of a neurodegenerative disease must be in want of an early death.’

Madam, in vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I pity you and plead you to accept my assistance  in hastening your death.

In declaring myself thus, I am fully aware that I will be going expressly against the notion of a healthcare system that prioritizes people over profit, the rights of  many people with disabilities, and, I hardly need add, my own better judgment.

But, as you may have heard, “civil rights” for unfortunates such as yourself are now largely reserved for your demise.  Particularly when a gentleman such as your father has five daughters and only a small income. How may such as he afford to see your sisters wed if you and your costly care refuse to be dead?

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